The Lift

I have to be honest. I haven’t felt good for a while. My outer being has worked in high speed. Work, ambitions, dreams and achievements. At times it brings me satisfaction but also cause my inner being some pain. Now that the our worlds reality has changed I’ve paused and stepped back. I don’t have any choice than to slow down. Some days contains more flow. I rise up with a wind behind my back. Light steps, bright thoughts and a slow mind. I do things with a sense of direction. But then there are days that contains more resistance. Harder to get up, heavy steps, clouds in my head and I feel lost. You can call it mood swings but I call it reacting to life.

Emotions and thoughts are not in any way a flat line. They are not linear. Rather they resemble waves in the ocean. There’s movements and it varies. The same ocean can have big or small waves. It can be totally still. It all can happen during one day. It’s the same with our thoughts and mood. One moment you laugh, next moment there’s tears running down your cheeks. One day you’re on top of the world, next day you’re low. You can feel love and sadness at the same time. There might be days that you don’t feel anything. All of this is the spectra of human emotions and mood.

Then there’s periods of times when it’s extra heavy. Darkness for a
long time. Then you should reach out. To  friends or professionals. Reach out your hand and get yourself some support. Either way I think we can give our inner self a hug and a lift. I’m not saying “stiff up your lip and move on”. If you are feeling low it’s harsh to beat yourself and say don’t be weak and move on. The lift I’m talking about is to try to do things that brings you joy even though it might seem useless. 

For example, I do some make up every day even though I’m not going to work or seeing anybody. It’s not a lot. For me it’s about starting a day with color. A peachy blush, a bronzy eyeshadow, a punchy lipstick or a luminous highlight. Just to see it and play with it gives me joy. It’s not about how I represent myself but how it affects my feelings. That gives the inner and outer being a chance to rise up and balance. Why not put on a beautiful dress at home office? Massage yourself with a favorite oil and have a home spa? Or put on your party outfit to have a dance party at home with your family? Let imagination fly. Whatever floats your boat.

It can sound juvenile and small but these small gifts is what we need right now. In a time where uncertainty dominates we all need to boost our spirit so we can endure. Endure for yourself and for each other. You don’t have to think as big as the world but just look at your family, your partner, your friend or your pet. We all need each other. I give myself as many small gifts as I can and manage. I have the
luxury of time. As long as this gift is in my life I will treasure it. Because it has lifted me up so I can be above the bottom. Coffee in bed, colors on the cheeks, walks, music, movements, books, my favorite scent, and talks. These are some of my favorite things from my uplifting palette.

It’s not a solution for a heavy mind. It’s a boost. I’m working on myself, along side with the treats, and it’s no easy breezy walk. The pandemic makes this journey even more naked and raw. Lots of tears, laughter and aha moments are revealing right in front of me. Another tip for a bluesy mind is movement. I start the day with
movement and try to infuse as many movements into my day as possible. Some days I don’t want to due to tiredness, laziness och lack of motivation. I make myself do it anyway. Because I know I always feels better after activity. It’s physical. After physical activity your body release endorphins which in turn affects the brains ability to release dopamine. I feel rewarded, pleased, happier and less pain. Take stairs, go for a walk, dance to your favorite music (my mom does it all the time) or some other movements. As long as you move, make your heart beat a little bit faster and maybe break a sweat.
Everything counts.

Why do I tell this to you? Because I know for a fact that I’m not alone so I want to reach out to you who feel the same. We are many right now who feel insecure and uneasy. Maybe you’re in lockdown, you can’t go to work or school, you can’t visit your dearest and nearest or you just lack energy to go forward. Despite your background we can all feel vulnerable. And to show vulnerability is beautiful. Makes us human. Of course you don’t have to flaunt it to everybody (like
me....), you can choose a person that earned your trust. Create connection. I’ll bet that person has experiences or know someone else who’s been through it to. A me too moment.

I will end this text with a message from a big role model in my life.
Britta, 95 years old: “Wash your hands, activate your body and this
too shall pass.”

/Kitty Chan